She looked so lovely.
All beautiful and exquisite, her porcelain skin glowing.
Her piercing blue eyes danced as she said her hellos to her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids.
There was a beautiful life to celebrate today- my grandmother. We had gathered in this delightful park and there was lots of food, lots of family, and lots fellowship to be had. I have always loved days like this.
Today is someone else’s day too. My little boy. My first born. The one that the Lord had used to teach me more in his three years of life about Him, than I had learned in half my lifetime.
Today was his day. And even though we came to celebrate my grandmother’s birthday, all day I had also been celebrating him.
This morning he and I laughed and ooh-ed and aww-ed over pictures of the day he entered our lives.
Those little pursed lips. And those enormous brown eyes. He had every need in the world.
And I get to be his mom. The one the Lord entrusted to take care of him. What a privilege.
He had done good, knowing it was his day and being patient while his great grandmother blew out her candles. Seeing her open her presents, knowing it was his day too. He was so excited to watch her.
He had been a gentleman asking if he could help push Grandma’s wheelchair and taking his brother’s hand to lead him to the park. I am proud of him. I always am. But today, I am so proud.
So on the way home from grandmother’s party, I could not help myself. I had to tell him.
Even though we would celebrate his party next week, we had gotten him a gift.
I had searched and searched.
Wandered down aisles and aisles with far too many choices.
Too many airplanes, and nerf guns, and legos, and cars.
And games, and stuffed animals, and balls, and blocks.
There were so many aisles. And so many choices. It hurt just to look.
And for my boy, I wanted the perfect thing. Something that he would love.
I walked those aisles and I searched. High and low, left and right. As if looking for hidden treasure.
After four jaunts down the forever aisles, I saw it.
Tucked on a lower shelf, barely peeking out. So low I almost missed it.
I absolutely knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt that my baby would love it.
I just knew.
Because I know him. I know more about him than anyone else. I know more about him than even he knows. I am his mom. So I got for him what I knew he would treasure most.
And on the way home from grandmother’s party, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had to tell him.
“When we get home Dad and I have something for you for your birthday!!”, I told him, trying to mask all of the utter excitement in my voice.
“Yeaaaah?”, he asked, “Is a robot party in it?”.
His smile stretched ear to ear revealing those perfect pearly whites. Those brown eyes, dancing like his great grandmothers. I could see the excitement in his eyes and it made my stomach leap.
He is my son, and it pleases me so very much to see him happy. And smiling. And excited.
I had to tell him more.
“No, there isn’t a robot party in it, the robot party is next week! But there is something very special waiting for you when we get home!!”.
“Oh! Oh, Thank you!! Thank you, Mommy! Thank you, Daddy!!”, he exclaimed.
I could not contain my excitement. In fact, I think I was more excited and elated than him.
And in that instant, the Divine intervened.
My mind, flooded with His words and His life and His gifts.
“And this is eternal life, that they would know You, the One true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent…” -John 17:3
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” -John 14:27
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”. James 1:5
“For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. -Psalm 103:11-13
“Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” -Acts 2:38
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.”-Ephesians1:1
“To the praise of the glory of his grace, where He has made us accepted in the Beloved.” -Ephesians 1:6
And this just scratches the surface….
Unfailing Love. Unfailing.
Forgiveness of sins.
Every spiritual blessing.
Eternal acceptance in the Beloved.
The Holy Spirit, who leads us to Truth.
The God who created all we see, has given us Himself.
And as I think of this and ponder my own measly gift from a toy store to my son. I think of how I would feel if my son hated my gift. If he opened it, looked at it, and threw it back in my face. If he looked at it and said, “I don’t want that, I want something else!”. If he took it and stomped his feet into it because he hated it.
Tears fell just thinking about it. I would be crushed. I had spent so long trying to find him the perfect thing. I had agonized in aisles that had driven me mad. I had sacrificed so that he could have that gift.
Again, the Divine. Speaking to me thru His Word as I imagine this horrible scenario.
When I fail to realize that this life is temporal and He has given me an eternal life with Him,
when I do not walk in His peace,
when I fail to ask for wisdom,
when I doubt His unfailing love,
when I torture myself over sins that have been forgiven and paid for by HIS BLOOD,
when I do not access the glorious riches of His every spiritual blessing,
when I look for acceptance everywhere else but His all consuming, eternal acceptance I have because of His Son,
when I fail to access the power thru His Spirit that He has given me to live a life worthy of what He has called me, the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead,
when I try to work for those gifts, believing there is something for me to do to earn them instead of them being freely given by Him by His grace,
—-it’s like I walk up to Him and throw out His gift. And I tell Him I want something else. And I stomp on it like its trash.
Like its a measly plastic twenty dollar store bought gift and not an eternal God given one.
And when I throw out His gifts, I am rejecting Him, the One who gave His life.
Because along with His perfect gifts that He had planned in eternity past, He has given me the greatest gift, Himself.
He left that perfect fellowship with His Father to step down into an imperfect world. A world that He knew would reject Him. He was crushed and He agonized too. Not in an unending aisle in a toy store but in a sorrow filled Garden, sweat pouring off Him like great drops of blood. He was rejected by those He came to save and betrayed by the ones who called Him friend. And then He made the ultimate sacrifice.
His very life. Shed His own blood.
To save me.
That I may know Him. And have a living relationship with Him, the Living God.
We got home and I run downstairs to get my baby his gift.
I watch as he takes the paper out of the bag.
I watch his eyes. They get huge.
And he squeals in delight! He can barely contain himself waiting to put the batteries in.
He runs around the room showing each person his gift.
And I learn from my son, the way to receive my Father’s gifts.
With joy, and delight and awe. Sharing that joy with others.
That they may receive joy from the Gift as well.
I watch him loving his gift. The one I agonized over. And I have joy.
And I think, how much more does my Father have joy over watching me when I am resting in His perfect and eternal gifts that He agonized over with blood. When I trust Him. When I cling to Him and not to the things of this fleeting world. When I accept and receive His gifts given by grace. When I believe who He says I am in Him. When I believe who He says He is. When I believe Him at His Word. No matter what.
And I smile at the thought.
Dwelling in the greatest gift,
A Person- who says- “I am with you always…”
The never ending, eternal Gift.
And I rest in the peace of His presence.
And play cars with my son.